My Last Real Birthday

Don't worry, I haven't decided to end it all. I say today is my last real birthday because it's the last time I'll celebrate my real age. I plan on being 29 forever. Even when I'm shaking my cane at the loud, young punks across the street, I'll still be 29. People say it's a number and that it doesn't matter how old you are, it's how young you are on the inside that counts. I agree, that it why I don't think it matters if I claim to be 29 my entire life, it's what's on the inside that counts [Did I write that correctly? Do we say it's want's ON the INside? That's really messed up English, no wonder my students never understand our prepositions. I suppose 'it's what's inside that counts' is more appropriate.] Okay, I'm back. So, whatever, I'm still young, I'm fit, and, uh, I can't remember what else I was going to say.